Lost but Found . . .

I have sat down at the keyboard many, many, many times to write this post.

At first it was too painful, maybe a little bit embarrassing.

But I’m ready.

The truth is . . .

I lost myself.

For 5 mths I didn’t recognize myself.

I forgot what it felt like to smile,

to feel happy,

to feel joy.

I distanced myself from those that loved me.

I pushed people away.

I felt I had nothing to offer anyone.

It was painful to see the reflection staring back at me in the mirror.

I questioned my purpose, I questioned my path. I questioned myself.

I cried.

I felt the pain . . . even when I really didn’t understand where it was coming from.

I sat with the pain for days, weeks, months and for the first time in my life instead of running from it, I really, really felt it.

I cried for never feeling good enough,

for never being that “perfect” girl I have always wanted to be.

I cried for the pain I have been carrying around about just how difficult it was to suffer from an Eating Disorder.

I cried for my failed my marriage.

I cried for the last 2 years and how difficult it has been to be on my own.

I never cry.

But I let myself cry.

And it was exactly what I needed.

I needed to recognize that as much as I want to portray that I have it all together and that I am a strong girl who can take whatever life throws at her . . .

Sometimes I’m just not.

And that’s ok . . . It’s more than ok . . . it’s human.

I’m in a good place now.

But I needed that time to be lost to realize that’s it’s ok to be lost.

Because it really is.

Sometimes we need to lose ourselves to find ourselves again.

I have found love,

my smile,

my laugh,

joy.

The path is not always straight but eventually we find our way.

I’ve missed this little space

but I’ve found my way back.

xo

Krissy

Grateful

Beautiful Friends,

It is about to be July 1st and I have a lot to be grateful for. . .

It is no secret that this has been a difficult year for me. I felt it in my heart that my 30th year was going to be my year . . . however, it certainly did not turn out the way I had imagined. Yes,  I’ve learned a lot. I’ve truly learned what it means to struggle, to feel lost, to feel uncertain, to be filled with fear. But I’ve also learned that regardless of all that . . . I am still standing.

I am turning 31 in 3 weeks and things need to be different. I am ready to take what I have learned over this past year and move forward. I am ready to focus less on my fears and more on my dreams. I am ready to stop worrying about the future and live in the moment. I am ready to give up the idea of “perfection” and embrace my imperfections. I am ready to accept love and give it unconditionally.

I am grateful for many things in my life . . . here a just a few . . .

Amazing Girlfriends

My FamJam!

Unconditional Love

Good Wine

Always being a dreamer

What are you grateful for?

xo

Krissy

Here I am

I’ve lost track at the number of times I have sat down to write a new post.

Truth is . . . I haven’t felt that I’ve had a lot to offer these last couple of months.

I want you to come here for inspiration . . .

And I’ve been lacking that.

 

Truth is . . . I’ve been struggling.

Struggling. . .

to accept myself and where I am in life,

to find the positives in difficult situations,

to wake up happy,

to trust that the universe has a plan for me,

to not need all the answers,

to be patient.

I haven’t been allowing life to flow. I’ve been overthinking everything.

I need to come back to what I know.

I need this blog and all of you to inspire me so that I can work on returning the favour and inspiring you.

So here I am, maybe a little weaker than usual, but here I am.

xo

Krissy

 

 

 

I am

I am . . .

A daughter;

A sister;

A friend;

An introvert;

Impulsive;

Stubborn;

A dreamer;

A believer in fairy tales;

Learning to love myself;

Feisty;

A work in progress.

I am . . .

Searching for the beauty in each day and each moment.

Searching for the joy that comes from simply breathing.

Searching for inner peace, for trusting that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

I think it’s so easy to get caught up in life. Get caught up in what we think we ought to be doing. In being the person that others want or expect us to be. We get caught up in wanting more, being more. We rush through life without appreciating what it really has to offer.

I want to S.L.O.W. down.

. . . breathe in the fresh air

. . . smell the flowers

. . . find the beauty in the smallest things

. . . dance around in my condo every.single.day

. . . sing like a rock star in the shower and car

. . . be kind to strangers

. . . hug my friends and family more

. . . be of service to others.

In an attempt to slow down and appreciate my surroundings, I’d like to use my blog as a way to capture every day beauty. Each day I’ll be posting a picture/image/video of beauty I have found during that day. This collection of images will serve as a great reminder to me of how truly beautiful life is. Please join me if you feel this will help you slow down and enjoy the beauty all around you.

xo

Krissy

What If . . .

I have always wanted all the answers.

Wanted that crystal ball to appear . . .

So that I could look into the future . . .

To know that I’ll be safe.

Taken care of.

Loved.

I want that certainty . . .

That everything is going to be ok.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have enough trust in myself.

Maybe it’s because I’ve always thought I had to look to someone else to find that kind of comfort.

What if . . .

I trust that everything will work out the way that it should.

What if . . .

Instead of worrying about the future I live for each moment and cherish the present.

What if . . .

I make mistakes, trip and fall and learn to pick myself up.

What if . . .

I become o.k. living with uncertainty and not having all the answers.

What if . . .

I give myself enough love to feel safe and taken care of.

What if . . .

I just stop worrying and start living.

I was reminded by a lovely lady, of something so simple, yet powerful.

. Life is Beautiful .

Through all of the uncertainty,

pain,

heartache,

doubt,

fear,

anxiety . . .

. Life is Beautiful .

No more “What If’s”  . . .  Today they become my reality.

xo

Krissy

Vlog #4 May Cause Miracles

Hi Beauty Queens & Kings!

Happy 2013! Enjoy my Vlog!

Edit: Please replace the word “joy” with “love” – I’m not sure why I was saying “joy”, I really meant “love” :)

Email at balanceisbeauty@rogers.com if you would be interested in starting up a book club or conversation (either online or in person) about either “May Cause Miracles” or “A Course in Miracles”.

Much Love!

xo

Krissy

Vlog #3

Hi Friends!

I have some fun new products to share with you! Hope you enjoy!

Side note: Yes I say “dessert” when in fact it is “desert” – should probably go back to Grade 3  . . .  what I’m saying in that section of the video doesn’t make much sense so lets pretend the product is called “dessert essence”. (It’ll make sense when you watch it . . . if you get that far!)

xo

Krissy

My Baby Got a Makeover!

Loves!

My lil blog had a makeover and I’m so excited to share it with you!! I have the amazingly beautiful and patient Jenny to thank for this new look – I highly recommend her services if you are looking to give your blog a little facelift! Not only has her blog continued to inspire me over the many years I have been reading it but girls got some serious talent!!

For some of my new readers I thought it would be fun to do a post so you could get to know me a little better. So here’s some things you may or may not know about me!

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I’m a twin! It’s one of the things that defines me most in life – no matter where I am or what I’m doing it’s always comforting to know I have another half – we are very close and I feel blessed and grateful to have him in my life. You’ll be seeing him pop up on here lots!

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I have a fur baby – who makes my heart so full! That’s Zak – he’s my 7 year old teacup pomeranian. I know I’m biased but I just think he is the cutest lil guy in the world. He’s a character and he makes me smile every single day!

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Running is my therapy. I clock quite a few miles on the treadmill each week. While I love a good yoga class I always find myself coming back to running. I haven’t found anything that relieves my stress and anxiety quite like running so I’ll take that over a therapy bill hehe

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I have a mild, ok, full-on obsession, with Justin’s Maple Almond Butter. They don’t sell it in Canada so every time I visit the US I stock up. There was a short time where my supply was out and I’m really not sure how I coped. All is right in the world again . . . I’ve got myself re-stocked!

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She’s my girl. Enough Said.

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Always on my mind. Soy Misto in case you’re ever in the area!

Well there’s a few things you may or may not have known about me! If you’re new to my blog – I’m so happy you’re here, I’d love to connect with you! Leave me a comment with one thing I absolutely must know about you – I’m dying to know!!!

xo

Krissy

I’m a Spirit Junkie!

Hi Loves!

Thanks so much for all of your kind comments on my last Vlog – I hope if you tried my smoothie you loved it as much I do! Since i have started incorporating green smoothies back into my everyday routine I have felt SO much better and have also noticed a difference in my skin. It’s such a great way to pack a whole lot of nutrients in one place, so if you’re looking for one tip to improving your overall health I would tell you to start drinking a green smoothie a day!

One of my hopes for this blog is to not only inspire people to incorporate healthy, whole, nutrient dense foods into their diet to improve their health but to inspire people to connect to and nourish their mental health and well being. I have spent a long time being very interested in nutrition and am pretty good at nourishing my body with amazing and tasty plant based vegan foods. However, nourishing my mind and my soul is something that I am not as good at. I have been very open on my blog about the struggles I have gone through and the struggles I am currently challenged by. I am a work in progress and I think we all are to some extent. I am always striving to learn more and grow in both my personal and professional life. I want to be the best me I can be. I most certainly have fallen down numerous times but there has always been something or someone that has been there to help to pick me up. While I have never considered myself a very religious person, I have always believed in something bigger than myself and have always felt very connected and inspired by “spirituality”. I wanted to share with you the books that I have been reading – well, I should say, studying. They have really helped to pick me up and inspire me to live a more mindful, grateful, open minded life. 

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Gabrielle Bernstein is a spiritual goddess. I cannot tell you how much I have learned and grown as a spiritual being through this book. I continually find myself going back and re-reading sections of it – there is so much to learn and I’d like to share some of the lessons i have learned in future posts. Gabrielle defines a “Spirit Junkie” as someone who sees the world through loving lenses. The book teaches that we all have everything we need inside of us to live and loving, fulfilled and happy life where all of our dreams are coming true. She teaches that choosing love over fear will change the way we experience the world and experience every situation. We all have the ability to choose love in every single situation. This is so empowering to me.  When you really sit on that idea and start to put it into practice in your everyday life, miracles will occur. I love this quote from Gabrielle’s book, which actually comes from A Course in Miracles, by, Marianne Williamson (another amazing spiritual teacher), ” Miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong”. Friends – we should be experiencing miracles in our lives and if we aren’t, we need to look inside of ourselves to figure out why not. I could go on and on about the lessons I have learned, but I’ll save it for future posts. If you are at all interested in spirituality and connecting with your inner self, I highly, highly recommend this book . . . it will change your life!

Another book I just purchased after reading so much about her in Gabrielle’s book is ” A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson.

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I literally have just started this book and am only a couple of pages in, but I can’t wait to get into it. I’ll report back with my findings. If anyone is interested in reading the book alongside me, let me know, I’d love to have discussions about the book :)

Mental health is such a passion of mind and learning to truly love oneself is something that I am striving for, I know I am not there yet but I am on the path and am looking forward to sharing my journey with you!

xo

Krissy